Good News and Bad

Well I'll start with the good news. My dad had his first chemo treatment on Friday and had 4 liters of fluid drained from his stomach, which provided him much relief. In typical fashion, I called to check on him and he was so excited to tell me the news. It wasn't that he was feeling better or that he was having a great day, but rather, the resident that was taking the fluid from his stomach was HOT and SINGLE. He was working his magic to try and set us up he said. Now, in 33 years, my father has RARELY meddled in my relationships. There have been the occasional comments of thank God he's gone, but otherwise, nothing like this. I think he sees it as his mission to find me a man that he approves of, since I have been unsuccessful in that department to date.

The bad news is that my wonderful great aunt Mable, aka my grandmother #3, or the nice and normal one, passed away late Saturday night from pancreatic cancer. She fought bravely and was peaceful towards the end. I will be sad to see her go, since she was my Italian grandmother's sister, and she was the one who provided the ying to my grandma's yang (hidden message: she was complimentary when good old grandma was not!)

I'm headed back up to Pitt tomorrow morning to represent the family since my dad is too sick to go to the viewing and will be in chemo for the funeral.

I am waiting for the silver lining to come out of these dark clouds of recent weeks. However, patience is running a bit thin these days. Good news is Friday night, I will have a bit of an escape - New Kids On The Block return to DC and I will be there to relive my youth, yet again!

So It Goes From Bad to Worse...

Well we can forget my mission to have a campaign for the cancer of question marks. My dad met with the oncologist today and got a definitive diagnosis. Cholangiocarcinoma - aka - cancer of the bile ducts - aka silent killer. There are 1-2 cases per 100,000 or about 2,000 - 4,000 per year. This is what is known about this kind of cancer. Cholangiocarcinoma is considered to be an incurable and rapidly lethal disease unless all of its tumors can be fully resected (cut out surgically). There is no potentially curative treatment except surgery, but unfortunately most patients have advanced and inoperable disease at the time of diagnosis. So reading that is a total DOWNER. On a POSITIVE NOTE - Chemo has been shown however to extend survival and improve quality of life so that's a good thing. Look at me looking at the bright side. Who would have thought I'd be an optimist?

So here's to focusing on the positive my friends. Chemo starts tomorrow! And my dad is having his "pregnant" belly drained too. Both, the doc said, will provide him with relief! Also, tomorrow my mom and dad celebrate 39 years of marriage. That's a LONG TIME. Hell, I usually can't make it past 39 days with a guy! But given my recent choices, perhaps that's a good thing!

The Pink Ribbon vs. The Question Mark

There's no doubt that the face of cancer has become the pink ribbon. I was getting a cup of coffee recently and they put a pink ribbon sticker on the lid, seriously, do I need a reminder with my morning crack fix? If ever there were some creative marketing geniuses, it was the folks who invented that pink ribbon. The yellow bracelet is a close second - that's a joke for my SK friends! You may ask where this is going? Well, perhaps no where important, but my dad's diagnosis has been finalized - 5 weeks after finding out he has cancer - the pathology reports are in ... drum roll ... STILL UNKNOWN PRIMARY.

Yep, my pops is one of the thousands of people out there with an unknown cancer type. From what I gather, it basically means there is no primary tumor source. So no kidney, no pancreatic, no bile duct and no stomach cancer like they had thought over the past few weeks. All they know is that the cancer cells are typical with those found in gastric cancers, which means chemo is more or less a crap shoot. (perhaps I am being a little more negative than what that means in reality, but I think you get the gist). He starts chemo on Friday and will go in 6 week intervals. We shall know more in a few weeks time whether it's working...so for now, I might have to come up with a creative question mark pin to show my support for my dad. Since, go figure, the Cianflone's have the be unique with this unknown random diagnosis! At least we're consistent in our drama!

Here's to kicking this question mark's ass!

Patio Furniture, Pansies and a Pregnant Looking Belly

So you might be thinking what do the P's in the title have to do with each other - well that was my weekend in a nutshell. I was back in the 'burgh to hang with the rents and let me start by saying, my dad, while sadly a shell of himself weight wise, looks 8 months pregnant. It's actually a little amusing, if you can find any humor in cancer. He calls it baby belly, and while it's a sight to be seen, it sadly does cause him discomfort. Something about the pressure on his diaphragm makes it hard to eat, so he has to eat bite sized portions. For all of my Safe Kids friends, think small parts tester size!

We didn't hear any word from the doctor with lab results like we were supposed to on Friday, so the weekend was spent trying to go about life as usual - meaning they put me to work the entire weekend. I ran errands like a crazy person and did everything from wash the car, only to have the trunk filled up with dirt from the plants my mom decided to buy AFTER we got the car cleaned; putting together new lawn furniture for the back porch, just in time for my brother to look like the hero bringing dinner from the family's favorite restaurant, and lastly, trimming hedges that were so much taller than me, I was covered in crap as the leaves and branches fell on my head before making their way to the ground.

All in all, it was a good weekend. Scooby didn't kill my parents dog, my dad got much needed rest and I took Mo out for an evening of laughs - GO SEE BRIDESMAIDS! We both laughed for 2 hours straight and the evening didn't even end with jokes about me being single! What more could I ask for? Of right, a cure!

Ups and Downs

So we are T minus a week and a day until the last Oprah show. I was watching the episode last night on TiVo and she was visiting with Ralph Lauren at his home in Telluride. Made me want to move to Colorado, or just seek out his oldest son, who seems to be single! Anyway, as her show draws to an end, I seem to be more interested in the O emails I get on a daily basis, highlighting of course, her new network OWN, but also some nuggets of goodness from the past 25 years.

The O email today couldn't have been more perfect for the kind of day I am having. It highlighted an article about mental rest and relaxation in the midst of personal turmoil. Hmmm - dad has advanced cancer - yep, I think that qualifies! Martha Beck (one of the contributors to the famed book, The Secret), spoke about how from the minute you are born, there was no escaping the ups and downs of life, so it's best to put your seat belt on and prepare yourself for the ride. So what am I going to try doing from here on out: Relax, Be Fearless, Listen to My Body for Stressors, and REST!

Here's to you Oprah for once again giving me an a ha moment! Now, let's see how hard it is to practice these 4 little steps! I'll give you a hint - I've talked to my mom 5 times already today and it's only 3. Might be a little harder than I want, but I'm going to give it a valiant effort.

Cancer - One Month Later

My family's life recently changed forever - a month ago I was sipping BBCs (the best drink ever - Bailey's, Banana Rum and Coconut) with my dad in the Caribbean and a week later I was at his bedside in the hospital. On a Wednesday morning at 6am my cell phone rang to a random Pittsburgh number - it was my father's primary care doctor. He was calling to tell me my dad had cancer and it had spread throughout his body. I needed to come home. Oh, and I also needed to not talk to my mother for the next hour because they didn't want to break the news to her while she was driving into the city. Ignoring my mom's calls is something I am NOT GOOD AT! You'd think I would have learned by now. I immediately called my brother in tears to break the news to him. He was stoic and held it together. I, on the other hand, was blatantly ignoring the phone ringing with the caller id blaring me in the face - Mom's cell, and while in a frenzy to pack a bag and get the dog ready to go, dropped my new iphone4 in the toilet just before getting ready to head to the 'burgh.

Fast forward: I have a new phone (thank you Verizon for the tissues and the new phone) and the trip to Pittsburgh revealed that the cancer was on my dad's kidney, liver, spine, lungs and in his bones. WTF! They took a biopsy of the tumor on his liver and decided to do radiation on the tumors on his spine. One month later, there is no definitive diagnosis. To date we have heard from the doctors that it could be kidney, pancreatic, bile duct and even stomach cancer - with pancreatic and bile duct being the scariest options cause well basically, no one survives these cancers long term. Hell, people barely survive 6 months after diagnosis, although my lovely 85 year old aunt with a pig valve in her heart has lived 13 months with terminal pancreatic cancer, so there are exceptions. The lab results are due to come back this week from some special place in California with a definitive diagnosis. We shall see what the white coats have come up with this time. My brother is convinced they are going to say something lame like cancer of the pinky toe next.

In the mean time, each day has been filled with ups and downs. My dad is exhausted but to his credit, is still working - I think mainly to stay sane and away from my recently retired mom. My mom is strong but has decided to put me on speed dial. Well I guess I have been on speed dial for years, as any one of my past co-workers can tell you; however, now those moments come with greater frequency, if that was even possible. My brother and sister in law are fantastic and thankfully close to my family so they can visit often - I am complimenting them now, because they leave for Italy on Sunday and I am horribly bitter! I expect lots of nice things from the motherland upon their return. I am the support from afar. Lucky for my family I work in a cancer institute so I have answers and resources at my fingertips. Unlucky for me I work in cancer. No break from the insidious monster for this girl.